When you’ve decided that it’s time for you and your spouse to divorce, life can feel a bit chaotic. Conflict and stress will naturally go hand and hand in these situations. Your emotions may be running high and it can seem almost impossible to communicate. Of course, if kids are involved, it can make the situation even more complicated. That’s why sitting down and preparing yourself for a divorce can make life a little bit easier. People will often underestimate how organization and preparation can create a more peaceful transition. That’s why we’ve composed this list of tips and advice for those who might need assistance on how to prepare for a divorce.
10 Tips on How to Prepare for a Divorce
- Take Responsibility
When you are absolutely certain that a divorce is the right path for you, you need to take responsibility before you move forward. Remember that you were an active participant in the marriage and you will also be an active participant in the divorce. When you take responsibility, you take control of the situation. Being passive or unassertive is not the best way to prepare for a divorce. Trust yourself that you’ve made the right decision.
- Be Civil
This is one piece of advice that many divorcing couples see as a challenge. You may be feeling hurt, regretful, guilty, stressed out, or depressed. These emotions are not exactly built for being civil, but it’s very important to keep the lines of communication open. Try to avoid digging up the reasons for the divorce and focus on getting through the divorce.
- Give the Kids the New Together
If kids are involved, it’s always better to give them the news together, especially if they’re young. If both parents are giving separate and different accounts of what happened and what will happen, it can be very confusing for a child. This is one area when it’s much better to be on the same page.
- Talk With Friends Who Have Also Gone Through Divorce
Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends that have also gone through a divorce. It’s important to see how people live after the divorce storm has passed. Not only is it nice to have support from someone who has gone through something similar, but it’s a great reminder that things will get better.
- Avoid Social Media
Advertising your break-up on social media is no way to prepare for a divorce. You never know when a comment or picture can come back to haunt you. It’s better for you and your family to keep the conflict private until everything is resolved.
- Visualize Your New Living Situation
Where do you see yourself after the divorce is finalized? What’s the best case scenario for you? It’s important to know where you want to live in order to negotiate. When you prepare for a divorce, visualize yourself in your space without your spouse. Is it better to stay in your home or move to a new home? You should have the answer to this question before speaking with a lawyer.
- Organize Your Documents
Start collecting all of the documents that you may need. Any kind of paperwork that your divorce lawyer will want to see should be together in a file. To prepare for a divorce, you need to dig through all shared bank accounts, property, and contracts. Staying organized and keeping tabs of documents you have and documents you need to find will help to reduce stress.
- Know the Value of Your Shared Assets
To make the separation of assets easier, have a professional appraise the value of your shared property and holdings. If you want the most out of your divorce settlement, it’s better to have an exact value of your possessions than just a random number.
- Understand Your Financial Future
In order to prepare for a divorce, you must make a monthly budget. Know exactly what your monthly spending looks like now so you can understand how you will meet that financial expectation after the divorce. If you want to keep your lifestyle, you’ll want to know how much it costs. If you have children, remember to include a budget for them as well. Keep in mind what life might look like in the future. If one of your children is about to go off to college, have a plan of how you and your spouse will handle college tuition.
10. Find the Right Divorce Lawyer
Without a doubt, the best way to move through a divorce is to have the right divorce lawyer on your side. Let your lawyer know your visions of your future and what you want out of your divorce. If you see you and your spouse resolving issues through mediation, then explain that this is your goal. An experienced divorce lawyer will be there to walk you through all possible scenarios. Contact a lawyer today to learn more.
