When a marriage proposal is accepted, the prospective spouses typically start asking themselves some questions. Who will be invited to the wedding? Where will the ceremony be conducted? What about the flowers, the music, the wedding dress, and the reception? Prospective spouses also need to ask themselves some tougher questions too. Are you financially secure? Do you both want children? Where do you see yourself and your new family in five years? In ten?
If you’re bringing children into a marriage, the questions you should ask may be even tougher. Will the children live with you full time? Will they get along with your new spouse? Do you see eye-to-eye with your new spouse regarding discipline and rules? If you are divorced with children, before you get married you should review the custody order and the visitation arrangement. In south Florida, if you need to have a custody order modified, do it with the help of an experienced Boca Raton family law attorney.
Prospective spouses may also want to consider the benefits of premarital counseling. If you belong to a faith community, counseling may already be available to you from a spiritual advisor. A number of counselors and counseling resources are available in the Boca Raton area. Counselors can offer prospective spouses insight and resources for developing a stronger and more sustainable marriage. Counseling also works very well if both partners are involved in the process. These sessions must have both of the spouses participating fully, answering questions and sharing their feelings without any inhibitions. If one partner is not convinced about the benefits of couples counseling, then the initiative is likely to be a failure. Counseling also requires you to practice whatever you learn during these sessions. If your partner is not willing to practice these, then the counseling is probably not likely to be effective in your case.
Counseling should also be considered during the course of the marriage. Many couples consider counseling with the help of a marriage or family counselor before they make any decision about their relationship. However, counseling does not benefit every type of marriage. There are some marriages that cannot be salvaged, and counseling only puts off the inevitable.
Remember, that for couples counseling to be a success, it is important that both of the partners agree fully to the counseling. If one of the partners remains unconvinced about the benefits of the counseling or arrives at counseling sessions with a completely negative viewpoint, counseling is not likely to be a success. If you find yourself in a position, in which you are forcing your spouse to make any kind of effort to save the marriage, then you are probably fighting a losing battle.
Couples counseling also may not work well if one of the spouses is completely closed off and unwilling to share his feelings. If your partner is not honest about his feelings, and is unwilling to come out of his shell and share with you, then your relationship probably cannot be saved through counseling.
Finally, partners about to marry should also consider obtaining a prenuptial agreement. While it may be an awkward subject for some, a fair agreement that has the consent of both partners is never a bad idea because it can offer protection to both partners. If you think a premarital agreement may be appropriate for you and your partner prior to an upcoming marriage, or if you need to modify a child custody order prior to your marriage, arrange right away to obtain the advice and services of an experienced Boca Raton family law attorney.
The decision to marry a second time is almost never as easy as the decision to marry the first time. While the young tend to fall in love and marry in passion, a second marriage is something most of us will consider far more carefully. Most people entering a second marriage will think long and hard about – you guessed it – money. Don’t hesitate to bring up and discuss these topics with your prospective spouse prior to the wedding ceremony:
Should we keep our assets separate? If you don’t have much in the savings account and don’t own property, it may not matter much. If you both own homes and have retirement savings, it may make sense to keep your finances separate, and you should probably consider a prenuptial agreement.
Are we financially compatible? When we marry, we generally look for people we share interests with, someone who likes the same music, the same kinds of recreation, maybe even a specific hobby or pursuit. But we seldom think about financial compatibility. Some people are impulsive spenders, others are meticulous savers, and most of us fall somewhere between the extremes. If you and your first spouse had different “money personalities,” you already understand why financial compatibility is important.
Should we just live together? After a divorce, you might decide that marriage is too complicated and risky. Your divorce may have been long and painful, and you may feel like you don’t want to risk going through that again. But if you’re merely cohabiting, you could miss out on insurance, tax, and other financial benefits enjoyed exclusively by married couples. In a worst-case scenario, you’ll also have no ability to make medical decisions for your partner. Don’t hurt yourself and arbitrarily rule out marriage because of one bad experience.
Also, don’t hesitate to consult with an experienced Boca Raton family law attorney about your finances and the advantages and disadvantages of marriage vs. cohabitation. Every marriage is risky. No one knows what tomorrow has in store. Be wise about entering a second marriage, but don’t cheat yourself out of the happiness you deserve because of your fears of getting married again. To learn about obtaining a prenuptial agreement prior to a second marriage, or if you have concerns or questions regarding any matter of family law or divorce, speak at once with an experienced Boca Raton family law attorney.
Lewert Law is in compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and all applicable website standards including WCAG 2.0. It does not discriminate on the basis of disability. If you have any issues observing the content of this website, please contact us. Upon request, reasonable accommodations will be made.